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Hi everyone.
I wrote a really good blogg yesterday and i highlighted it to change the font and i accidently hit shift. and Poof! it was gone. =(.
Tough break, eh?
Story of my life dude.
Anyways, the sum up of the sum today, is it's just one of those days where everything I did in weeks past and that I thought I got away with, has all bunched up, and it's seriously hurting my head.
I swear like every time I let my guard done, someone came up to me and was asked me if I has said *this* to *someone* and the depressing thing was that I honestly couldn't remeber. The other sad thing was, it was like a different thing EVERY time.
Now I'm going crazy. Hi guys. This is me... going CrAzY. =). Smile, it makes it all better. not. bear the pain. grin and bare it. the burden goes so deep. all the smiles. can't really tell which are fake and which are real. and it's killing me. the stress is just enough to kill.
*sigh*.
craaaaap. The whole point of it was that no one was gonna know and i was gonna have fun on my little loner self and i was gonna be like YES. go me. whoot. but now it's like all ruined because they all knew what i was gonna say before i said it. and they already knew how i'm going to react, even though i don't know. and what kind of a life is this?
Gr. I'm also mad. because no matter what i choose, i'll hurt someone. and do either of you care about me? no because it's never really about me is it? it's about who gets the most of me, and who gets the best of me, and who gets the left overs, and who gets my time, and who gets my effort, and who gets the additude, and who gets the lashing, and who gets the nice me, and who gets the bratty me. and yet it's always about me, but it never really is. It's about who gets me. and i hate that it's a war and i hate that you make me pick and i hate that you get mad at me no matter what i pick, because no matter what, someone gets hurt and who am i to justife who should be happier then the other, on christmas day to say the least. and i just hate myself when i have to pick, but i hate you more for making me have to pick.
You burn a whole IN me, but you're just to concerned about there things, like how i'll look when i'm missing my heart.
My head hurts because there's too much inside and i need to vent. But my worst fear is it's too late. I'm breaking down faster than I can put myself back together.
And that's all i have to say, but i'm sure i'll be back.
Much Love,
*Kandy.
posted by xo. Kandy .ox @ 4:42 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
awww!
Poor Kandy :(
Well, some people I know had a much worse day :p
Im not going to mention names :)
Hope your day gets better!
.lovee <3 jess*
it's not nice to say they had a worse day (well unless they died)
because you do not know what kind of a bad i had, becasue you are not me and you are not them.
Sorry, but it's true.
Dearest comment leavers,
Please watch how you pharse things because to the average person you don't come across the way you want to, because you're all nice, but sometimes people wouldn't get that from the way you t y p e.
Much Love,
*Kandy
(p.s- i know you didn't mean to offend me jess, i just had to point it out, cause i'm complusive like that)
You know what depresses me, i always try to use the things like bold and italic in these comments, but it never works for some reason see- Hi Kandy=) WOAH i preveiwed it and i did it. I'm such a genious i amaze myself sometimes. but only sometimes i wonder what this one does A booga booga underlineing, trickyy.:) Wahhoo Special effects are the way to go man.
Hope you're feeling better. My newest saying -- don't sweat the small stuff. but this sounds as though it could be bigger than small. So try and feel better. like really, It's christmas sooon! :)
love forever and ever
Robyn=) (all in one ) heh.
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